I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while now but haven’t been really sure of how to start or what to really say at all. So here goes nothing.
I’m 38 years old and I’m a little mushy all over…and I don’t want to be mushy all over. I’m 38 years old, work on my feet all day and yet I’m sometimes out of breath bringing the laundry upstairs. I’m 38 years old and I haven’t taken care of my body….ever.
So here’s the deal. I’m out of shape. Period. For all the reasons you can imagine really. I eat whatever I want, I don’t exercise, and I make excuses for all of it. Like, I work all day, I have kids and I don’t want to make two different meals, I’m exhausted…blah blah blah. I’m sure it sounds familiar to a few readers. To top things off I work with food every day. Not only am I surrounded by restaurant food, I’m also a pastry chef, so I have temptation in front of me all the time. Oh and here’s the biggest excuse; I had a kid so that’s why I’m mushy. I had a kid NINE years ago. Yes, that has left my abdomen in some god awful state (stretched skin, c section scar etc) but I think it may be time for me to let go of that excuse.
So that was me, four weeks ago. And then I had something in me snap. I am tired of being tired. I’m tired of looking how I don’t want to look in my clothes. I’m tired of the excuses. I’m tired of being just a little jealous of the skinny chicks. Here’s the problem though; everything has always come really damn easy to me. I haven’t had to really try hard at many things. I’ve had a pretty easy go of things. And now I’m faced with a total life change and it’s freaking hard. Getting up early to work out, walking 4K and ending up with shin splints, figuring out a new way of cooking and eating, drinking more water (yeah this is hard). I’m four weeks in and I haven’t done everything right but I’m not who I was four weeks ago and that’s what counts. And you know what else? It’s getting easier. It’s getting easier to get up in the morning, and easier to get out for a walk at night. It’s getting easier to do push ups and sit ups. It’s getting easier, thank God!
My goal is to be in my best shape by 40. That’s in a little under two years. I’ve given myself some smaller goals for the road ahead but the big goal is 40. This goal isn’t a number on a scale but a whole new way of living. It’s going to be the only way to do it, to make it sustainable. No 21 day fixes, no miracle pills, just hard work.
What I’ve learned so far is that avocado isn’t the enemy, hummus makes me want to drink more water, I like couscous more than quinoa but I will forever love potatoes, new workout clothes make me feel like I’m atleast looking the part, having small attainable goals makes the road a little easier to travel, having a spouse to keep me accountable is annoying AND valuable, and I had to be ready to do this otherwise it was doomed to fail. I’m realistic about this, I may fail at this yet, but I’m hoping I can stick with it.
I’m currently using BBG/sweat app as my guide for exercises and recipes. I also follow Kayla Itsines, sweat, and bluebirdkisses on instagram for inspiration and motivation.
I didn’t bother taking measurements of myself before I started this journey but in case you were wondering, I’m down ten pounds, have a bit less mush, more energy, and less breathlessness while bringing the laundry upstairs!
2 thoughts on “The Goal”
Hey! Welcome back!
You are doing gloriously. Even if you’re not.
You write wonderfully, by the way.