I draw the line at flossing. I’m a grown woman and I do what I want. 

Oh, don’t try to tell me that you all floss. Don’t tell me that you haven’t tried just flossing for a few days before a dentist appointment and watched your gums bleed like you’ve just murdered someone…in your mouth. Please stop bleeding, I need to go to work.  I’ll make you a deal gums, you don’t bleed tomorrow at the dentist and I’ll treat you to something nice and sweet. 

I love when the dentist asks if I’ve been flossing. Yup, for three days before this visit sir and please don’t tell me that we need to go over the importance of it. I’m well aware. I’m also aware that I’ve managed to go 35 years without flossing unless I’m coming to see you or trying to get a pesky piece of meat out of my teeth. 

Oh and another thing. No one brushes the way you’ve demonstrated. Just sayin. And I tried brushing my teeth for two minutes straight and I gotta say, that is just too much time for me and my tooth brush. Seriously, give it a try. Time how long you usually brush for and also try brushing for two minutes. It’s just too much adulting for me.  I’m responsible for so many things in my life and I’m drawing the line on this one. I just don’t wanna. Can’t make me. That is all. 

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